Tuesday, 31 January 2017

40 Thoughts every ELA has on a German night out

If there's one major difference in German culture that I have noticed in the months that I have been here, it's that there are some pretty significant differences between a German and a British night out. This is a pretty different post from me on here, but it's something I will definitely remember and laugh at when I think back to my year abroad so I thought I would put it up for memories sake.
Discussing our nights out with my Bayern girls, there seems to be pretty common themes and a general consensus that some things are just so strange that you just would never see at home or some things that just seem so very German. So with some help from the girls, I have compiled a list of 40 thoughts every ELA has on a German night out.

It's been such a long hard week, I've worked a whole 12 hours. So keen for a night out!

But what do I wear? I mean I know Germans are casual, but is wearing my trainers too far?

I have absolutely no idea where to go, I'll check google.

Hmm, girls go free before midnight? Do I compromise my morals for the sake of saving 10 euros entry?!?

Ahh perfect I've found a club that's open till 5 , I can totally last that long I'm so excited!

It's a "Black Music" night? What does that even mean????? That's not a genre???? Y????

Let's get everyone round for some vorgl├╝hen! Ooh we can get that tappy shot game where you stick the lid on your nose! They totally need this in Britain, I wonder if I can bring a box back in my suitcase...

Ahh hello friends, finally some people I can speak English with!

Right google maps, take me to my destination! I have absolutely no idea where I am going.

Hmm, this place doesn't look great. Maybe it's better inside...

Yes, my passport is British. Yes, I speak German. What an unbelievable concept.

Down a hundred thousand flights of stairs I go. Why is every club literally so far underground.

Pretty glad I saved that ten euros entry now I've seen the price of the drinks. 8 euros for a vodka coke?!?!?!?

No wonder it was free entry for girls, I think I'm one of about five girls in this whole club.

Also no wonder it cost me 8 euros for this vodka coke, is this a triple?

Aw yeaaaahhhh I know this song. HEY, WAS GEHT AB

Ok now I definitely do not know this song. Why does it sound so aggressive?

Let's play spot the non Germans. Ah yes, it's easy, the only people in the club not singing along to this song. Great...

You know what would be great. I should totally request a song.

I can't remember the word for request.

"HALLO, kann ich ein Song bestellen?"

That was definitely not real German how embarrassing, I definitely will not be doing that again.

Actually, never mind there not being any other girls in the club, is anyone here under 30???

Under 40????

Yaaas it's 3am and they are playing Spice Girls what an absolute chune.

Never mind not knowing the words to that weird German song earlier, I'm about to tell everyone a story from A-Z, I've got thissss.

Starting to feel a bit sleepy, maybe I should get another drink. Definitely not paying another 8 euros though.

Ahh a one euro beer, how very German of me.

That idea was worse than "ordering" a song. I should not have done that.


Hello strangely old stranger, I have no idea what you said but I'm almost certain the answer will be no.

I think I'm going to fall asleep, its 3.45 I can't cope.

You know what's gonna make me feel better, cheesy chips.


Chicken nuggs it is. I guess I'll cope.

Why did I just eat 24 nuggets.....

There goes my 10 euro entry on a taxi. Brilliant.

Why is it now 5am?!

Obviously not everything in this post is 100% accurate, but yes, I have had to pay 8 euros for a spirit mixer, yes everyone in clubs is definitely a lot older in general than back at home and yes, the gender imbalance in some clubs is really that extreme. This post is clearly written in a light-hearted manner and I hope that at least one or two of the thoughts made you laugh!
If you have any great anecdotes from nights out abroad or as an ELA then let me know in the comments!


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